From Grey to White

Is you is, or is you ain't Johnny Bravo?

2011-09-15T23:22:00.000-07:00

Greg Brady as Johnny Bravo.

Several years ago I bought a really cool journal. I had heard that journaling was a great way to remember the things that God had done, or that you were learning. I figured if I was going to journal, it needed to be cool. So I bought one. That was several years ago. So far, I have only one journal entry, and I'd like to share it here.

I have many skills and abilities that I can and have used for you God. Many things you have allowed me to do. But how many of those things are what I'm supposed to do? How do all those things relate to what you have called me to do? John Eldredge has a quote in one of his books. "Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that...." it's attributed to someone else, but I read in Wild at Heart. So anyway, I sit and I think about that. What makes me come alive. And then it hits me. There is only one thing that makes me come alive, and that's youth ministry. God I've put that desire aside for a season because I thought you were leading me other places. Turns out that God it wasn't you leading me. It turns out that for too many years, I've let people tell me that because I can do this or that, that that is what I need to do. But God, that's no different than that episode of The Brady Bunch, where Greg gets a record deal, not so much because he has the talent they were looking for, but because he 'fit the suit, man.' God, I DON'T WANT TO BE JOHNNY BRAVO! I don't want to do anything just because I can. I want to do what you called me to do, and what makes my heart come alive.

What is funny is that since that writing, I've found myself off and on being Johnny Bravo. I hate that. I remember writing that line 'God, I DON'T WANT TO BE JOHNNY BRAVO!' and the freedom I felt at that moment. I'm shouting that out right now, because I find myself in a pivotal time that is causing me to re-think, re-evaluate, and re-group on a lot of things, and I'm not going to let anyone tell me that I need to be Johnny Bravo, just because I fit the suit, man.

So my question to you: Have you let someone convince you that you are Johnny Bravo, just because 'you fit the suit, man?' If you are, can I suggest you find your suit, not Johnny's. You'll find your heart starting to come alive the moment you do.

The story of how God came through, again.

2011-06-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

As I promised, and at the subtle urging of my good friend and brother, Dave, I know share with you, "the story."

About a month ago, I was rushing around on a Friday afternoon, to pick up some freebies that my wife had found on Craigslist, that we were going to add to our items for a Mission fundraising Yard Sale. As I was driving, it was a beautiful, sunny day of about 82 degrees, and I saw this guy on a motorcycle come zipping by. Which caused me to think,"man, I wish I could be on my bike today." At which point I distinctly heard this voice say, "yeah, about that bike... I want you to sell it."

Woooah. What? No way! Really? Was that God? Satan why would you tell me to sell my bike?!? God you gave this to me, you couldn't possibly want me to sell it, could you? (these are all the thoughts that rolled in my head in the span of like 2 seconds)

And again, "I want you to sell the bike."

Now first, let me say, I fully believe that God speaks to people today. But at this moment, I was positive it was my lunch talking or the heat getting to me or something. But at the same time, oddly enough, I felt a peace about doing it. It was weird.

So I did what any God-fearing man would do, I tried to argue with God over why that was not such a good idea. Now at this point He was done talking. Especially quiet when I asked the question "why?"

Not wanting to do something that I wasn't entirely positive was God, I sent a request for prayer to a trusted group of friends, with a question similar to this, "Please ask God if it was Him speaking to me about something I feel I'm supposed to do." That was it. Not a whole lot of detail. Within a few hours I had heard from a large majority of the group, with variations of the same answer: "Yes it was God."

Naturally, I resigned myself to submit to the will of God, all the while clinging to a hope of an 'Abraham and Issac moment', which never came.

I put my bike up for sale, and lo and behold the battery is dead. So I have to invest in a new battery, which by the way was the second most expensive battery at the store. The bike is up for sale now God, send the buyer!

Jump now to the week before my vacation, the week of June 13. I have had at this point a grand total of '0' interested buyers. Oh sure, I've had my share of Craigslist whacko's, but nothing worth getting excited about.

But now, not only is this becoming a sore subject between God and I, (don't judge me, just try looking at something every day that God tells you to sell, and still seeing it, taunting you) our personal financial situation is becoming grim. (I didn't have this particular issue when God started this whole thing) and our vacation is 3 or 4 days off and I have not a dime for a weeks worth of much needed rest.

But wait, I now have a potential buyer! He is excited about the bike, willing to pay the asking price, if I can meet him halfway between where I am and where he is. He'll call me Wednesday at 11 am to arrange a meet time. Ten or fifteen exchanges up to this point, and then Wednesday morning, nothing. No answer, no return call, text or email. Nothing. And nothing equals no buyer. At this point I'm thinking 'what is the cash value of this thing on an insurance claim?', not really, but you get my position.

Late Wednesday night, i hear from an acquaintance who might be interested. And at the same time, hear back from one of the original 'flakes' that contacted me, she is interested. So now I have two people set to look at it Thursday night. (I'm leaving on Friday) Thursday night the 'flake' has to cancel, and the acquaintance shows up and likes it, but they (understandably) want to pray about it, and they'll let me know Friday morning. i tell them that the 'flake' says they are coming down Friday at 8 am, so if she backs out, or declines, I would let them know.

Jump to Friday at 8 am. Franny and I wake up early to head down to the church to be there at 8. Now I'm not generally an impatient fellow, usually pretty laid back. But after having read this far, I hope you can understand why at 8:01 I'm calling this lady. She says 'didn't you get my text and email?' I said, I got nothing from you since our conversation yesterday. She said she had to work a little over and was tired and on her way home, but now she felt 'guilty' and would turn around and come see the bike. Deep breath and sigh. Ok. At least I've got someone coming.

She gets there about 10 minutes later, and she's not a flake. She is a single lady who is a E/R nurse at one of the college medical centers. She is a former Sheriff from the same area I grew up in. She is a former truck driver, and EMT. Now she has moved out here from Idaho I think because, wait for it, wait for it, she felt God telling her to come to San Diego to live with her sister to save as much money as she can to, again, wait for it, but a home to use as a halfway house type of thing for a woman's recovery home. What? Can it be?

Then she goes on to say that she used to ride, and quit when her niece was killed in a bike accident. But that she eventually felt God say that she needed to ride again. So she did, and she had a really small bike. But she said about, wait for it, 3 weeks earlier, she felt like God was releasing her to buy a bigger and newer bike. What? Are you serious????

She asked why I was selling it, and so I told her the reasons, and she says, well that's good that God told you to sell it and you were obedient. Because He's telling me I need to buy it. What?? (seriously folks, on the inside, I'm doing a little Pentecostal shuffle, but on the outside I'm reserved) Done deal.

Buuuuuut, she didn't have any cash, would I take a check? Well long story short, it was drawn on our bank, and the teller says, oh yeah, it's good, she has way more than that available.

You remember over the past few weeks how I kept clinging to the fact that God shows up just in time, often at the last minute? Yeah, well, one more time, He has not failed me.

We were able to take that vacation, and have a better time than I would have even imagined. We took care of all of our financial obligations, and took great pleasure in the way that God chose to smile on us for that time.

Long story short, it seems evident to both Franny and I, that the reason for the sell was not so much that the bike had usurped God's place in my life, or for our financial issues (God has seriously pulled the coin out of a fish for us on many occasions) but rather it was because He wanted my obedience to do what He asked, not so much for me, but more for the 'flake'. She needed that.

Oh and by the way, the 'flake' has a name. It's Tracy P. Pray for her, and her soon to be set up woman's recovery home in Prescott, AZ.

Thanks for reading.

Marks of the True Christian

2011-05-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

I may not gather a lot of fans with this one. But really, that's OK. The reality of it is, if you have a problem with what I'm about to say, then you should take it up with God, because it's based on His word. Here we go!

Romans 12:9-21.

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. ¹⁹Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." ²⁰To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." ²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Unless you live under a rock, or have no cable TV, or have no connection at all with the outside world, then the major news announcement from President Obama should have had time to settle in your heart.

If you are like me, those are words that you never thought you would hear. "Osama bin Laden is dead." I never imagined that we would ever catch him, much less kill him. But at the same time I was watching the special reports I was so overcome with feelings that I couldn't place. Feelings that I thought were a mix of joy and jubilation. Feelings that I thought were the culmination of the events that have defined this generation. Feelings that I fear are fueled by watching too many seasons of 24. Feelings that I wanted to jump and shout. Feelings that I wanted to sit and weep. So what did I do? I went to bed.

But when I awoke early this morning, as is my custom. I was burdened with the thought that maybe, just maybe, this was a bad thing. For lack of a better term, I feel maybe we, the US, have awakened a sleeping giant. I went to bed with the thought of a night of safe sleep, that the beast was dead. But I also had a feeling that this beast probably has more heads. I awoke this morning thinking that OK, it's a cause to celebrate, because the personification of evil is dead. But I still wasn't sure what to really think. In fact I asked on facebook, what if he confessed Christ and denied Islam, turned himself in, and faced the consequences. What then?

As I sit now, in Big Apple Bagels, here in Ramona, I am led to the verses above in Romans. I'm convinced that because of verses 14 to 21, that God is not jumping up and down on the streets of heaven, chanting 'USA! USA!' But rather, I think there may be sorrow in His heart, for the loss of one of His creations, denied the opportunity to know Him, to receive salvation, forgiveness and grace. (Rob Bell lovers, stick it) The gospel is clear.

I'm still maybe a bit numb to this all, but still, I'm burdened by what has happened. While on the one hand, I'm happy that not a single one of our SEAL Team 6 was wounded, I'm wondering, if thanks to George W. Bush, we as Americans, didn't digress to John Wayne status, and want to call bin Laden out for a shoot out in the streets of the Badlands of Pakistan.

I'm not going to tell any of you that celebrate, rejoice, party or whatever over the death of bin Laden, that you are wrong, that's up to God. I'm just going to say, for the Christian, maybe you need to rethink your attitude on this.

Blessings.

Dumb & Dumber moment

2011-04-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a moment that I like to call a Dumb & Dumber moment. Regardless of your take on that movie, the illustration works. In this film Lloyd Christmas, played by Jim Carrey, is in a bar in Colorado, and as he walks out he sees this framed newspaper that proclaims "MAN WALKS ON THE MOON", and he shouts out 'No way! That's great! WE LANDED ON THE MOON!' Now what makes that even funnier, is that the film takes place in 1994, about 25 years after the moon landing took place.

So here is my Dumb & Dumber moment. Sitting at Big Apple Bagels (my new 'office') I sat down to read some Word, and continued where I left off. Starting at Hebrews 1, I had to stop at verse 3. I don't think I'd ever read that before. It goes like this:
"He is the radiance of the Glory of God, and the exact imprint of His nature....."
I kid you not, I almost shouted out "No way! That's great! He is the radiance of the Glory of God!" That is how new and fresh that one verse was to me.

Now, before you say I shouldn't call myself dumb, I get that, and I don't. I said Dumb & Dumber moment, because, I've read Hebrews probably 50 times, or more. And I don't think I've ever picked up on that. So it was as if God had just scribbled it on the page right before I read it. Very cool.

But that wasn't it. There were several more Dumb & Dumber moments that took place for me throughout Hebrews, and I gotta tell you, they were awesome. You may say it's a sad day when a 20+ something year Christian gets a piece of the bible that they've never seen before. I say, it's stinkin' awesome because, it means God is still speaking to me through His Word.

And so I will leave you with this: Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

Fulfill your ministry

2011-03-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

2 Timothy 4:1-5 (ESV)

1. I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom; 2. preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3. for the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5.As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

When Paul was writing to Timothy, his protege, little did he know that on March 28, 2011, I would be sitting in Big Apple Bagels, in the small town of Ramona, California, feasting on the Word of God. Little did he know, that apparently my name is Timothy, as well. Also unknown by Paul was how his words would impact me today.

In Verses 1 & 2 he is basically saying to me:
Look man, it's not me telling you this, it's God. And so right here in front of God and Jesus, I'm telling you this. You gotta do this: Preach it, all the time. When you are ready, and when you aren't. Teach it well, patiently, correct and love.

I've known this for years, but I haven't KNOWN it. I haven't lived it. I haven't owned it. If anything, maybe I've rented it, but I've never owned it. Not until today.

Paul says a lot here, but verse 5 says it all so well. 'As for you, always be sober minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.'

My ministry. Not mine in a selfish pride kind of way, but mine in the sense of 'the one God has laid out for me' the one He's entrusted me with.

Father, I will own that which you have given me. That which you have trusted me with. Lord give me strength to do so. Amen.

So what is your ministry to fulfill? You know you've got one.

Get totally wrecked for God today.

Jeff

Here we go!

2011-02-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

Something I've been toying with for a while, (and by toying what I'm trying not to say is running from God) is putting on paper, or in this case flash drive, the thoughts that God has placed on my heart regarding parenting.

Now before you say it, I'll beat you to it. What do I know about parenting? Well, considering I've fathered two boys, and 'parented' well over 100, I've discovered that I "know" a little. Not a lot. But the things that I know, I know only because God has revealed them to me. What did I know about parenting before my boys were born? Despite the underlying knowledge of every teenager that they know everything, I really knew nothing. There was no manual! There was no Wiki-parent! I had nothing! Nothing but God. And that, by any stretch is way more than enough.

So some of my knowledge comes from first hand experience with my boys. Other pieces come from the 'parenting' of countless teens through over 15 years of youth ministry. And still other pieces come from my Jerry Springer like family members and their 'How Not To Parent' examples. And yet some come from very good friends and their real life moments of parenting genius or lack thereof.

What I'd like to offer you is this. An opportunity to sit back and read some tales of parenting triumphs and tragedies, masterpieces and mishaps, and epic advances and epic failures. Not to read it with the thought of 'This book has all the answers to all my parenting issues!' But to read it with the thought of, 'Hey, real people have raised real kids, and they turned out ok, for the most part! Maybe I can do this too!'

So, this journey begins with the title, and a short thought. I could have titled this:

Parenting Today's Teen: Lessons To Learn From
I've Done a Great Job of Raising my Kids, and Now You Can Too!
Ten Tips to Raising Spiritually Mature Teens: A Guide to Successful Parenting.

But that would be too 'normal', no what God has placed on my heart is to title it this:

Has A Llama Sucked Your Toes,
and Other Things You Never Thought You'd Have to Talk to Your Teen About.

This title came out of a talk we had with our oldest son about a year ago (he gave me permission to share) about a really rough spot he was in. We had realized that Satan was having a field day with him, his heart, his worth, his very existence, and we knew that we had to press all the way in on this one, or it was not going to go away or get better. So we stayed up very late hashing things out. Asking question after question, trying to get to the root of the problem. Nothing seemed to be working. But still we trudged on. Finally after what seemed like hours of getting nowhere, my wife felt the Lord leading her to ask the question 'Has a llama sucked your toes?' in the most serious manner she could muster. That was the pivotal moment in that battle for our boys heart and life. The freedom that came out of that entire transaction was huge. That is the reason for the title, and maybe also it might carry with it a little of the freedom of God to be just a little bit non traditional in our parenting techniques.

Now for the thought.

Too many times, we as parents want to be "cool" to our kids. We want to be their friends. We try hard to make them happy. (I said 'we') When those things don't 'work' we feel like we've failed. I would offer you this, nowhere in scripture did God ever call, commission, or anoint you to be cool to your kids or to be their friend. He did however in both Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6 charge us with the responsibility to make Him known to them and to raise them in His ways.

I would challenge you with this:

Can you take a step back and look at your relationship with your kids, and ask yourself, 'do I try harder to be a friend or a parent according to Gods standard?'

I'm in no way casting blame, guilt, or shame on any of us. My goodness, I've found myself way too many times to count, falling into the friend category, but God, in His infinite grace and mercy gently brings me back.

That is my prayer for you, that God would direct your parenting the same way He is directing mine. After all, He is the ultimate parent!

I will rejoice!

2011-02-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

All too often, I find myself in a place where I come up short. In my sports abilities. In my teaching abilities. In my finances. Whoa! Hold on, did I just say that?

Yes I did!

But how can that be? Don't I serve an amazing God, who owns the cattle on a thousand hills? As a matter of fact, I do. Then how do I come up short there? Well the answer lies in the fourth word of the first paragraph in this blog.

I.

You see that is my, and I'm assuming your problem as well. But I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about me. (this is my blog after all.)

I have always been the type to try to fix things when they go bad. To try to straighten out my problems. You can ask my mom, and she would be the first to tell you, my catch phrase growing up was, "don't worry, I got it covered." Used anytime things didn't seem to be going right.

Well, that is something all through life that I've carried. But recently, God has been working on me and my Mr. Fixit status. I say recently, but what I really meant to say is for the past 2 years. But what I really meant to say is, it seems like decades. But really it's only been a few years.

My good friend Dave says, its fun to watch from the outside. I'm glad you are enjoying it Dave. :) (people in Oklahoma must be lacking for good entertainment!)

And I must admit, to the casual observer, there might be some enjoyment. And to the deeply spiritual observer (i.e., Dave) I'm sure the "fun" he speaks of is the pleasure of seeing God at work.

But from time to time, I wonder, who connected me to Job. Except for losing everything valuable, worth anything, family, possessions, and stuff, oh and the boils. Ok, so maybe I'm not Job.

But I sure do feel like I'm at the point of serious bad juju.

However, in that, I also know that the promises of God are Yes! and Amen! So I rest in that, knowing that my God, my Dad, my King, loves me, cares for me, and provides. No matter what the circumstances look like around me. No matter what is crashing down.

I will STAND!

Jeff.

What are we designed to do?

2010-11-19T10:35:00.000-08:00

What are we ~~supposed~~ designed to do?

This question has been rolling over in the cavernous space that is my head for some time. I know what I do for a living, and for those that don’t know, I am a shepherd. My flock is probably one of the most tricky to define, and yet one of the most rewarding to serve. I hesitate to put this here, but I will. Much like a police officer, or a school teacher, I don’t do this for the money. I do this for the love of what I do.

I’ve had my moments of questioning this calling, this thing that God has chosen me for. I’ve even had moments of people questioning if I was really called to do this, or just really liked it enough to think I was called. My answer to that is, ‘have you ever done youth ministry?’ While it’s true that it takes a special sort, it also takes a called sort. You see I could understand the thought of maybe I just haven’t grown up yet, and enjoy hanging out with teens. If I had been new at this, or only done it for a few years. But having been involved in ministry to teens and preteens for the better part of 17 years, I’m pretty sure that I’m either called to this, or insane. ( NO COMMENTS!)

But, like Romans 1:29 says, “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.” I read that to mean, that what God has called me to, that He’s not going to say, oh wait, I was wrong, you are supposed to be a puppeteer, or a elder. Or whatever. But I know that I’ve been called to this, my question is, for how long? Must I some day, as is often the question to Youth Pastors, grow up and become a “Real Pastor”? Or is this something that is “without repentance,” and will just change the appearance of what it looks like on the surface, yet remain the same in my heart?

I have no desire, no drive, no pull, to be a Pastor of a church. Yet at the same time, I have every desire and intent to fully live what God has called me to, regardless of what it looks like. It is my belief that someday they will pry my old, decrepit body from the pulpit of a youth room somewhere, and have a homecoming service for me, somewhere between the dodge ball game, and the youth worship team singing Marvelous Light. That is how certain I am of my calling. That is how certain I am that this is what I was designed to do.

The bible says in 2 Peter 1:10, “Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:” I would leave you with this thought: Have you made your calling and election sure? God is calling, are you listening?

Undignifed and unashamed.

Jeff

Of Super Bowl ads, and the masculine assumption.

2009-02-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

So, like most of the country, I watched the Super Bowl yesterday with a group of friends. And what a game it was. Absolutely awesome until the Steelers won. Then it was just a good game. Not that I'm a Cardinals fan, I'm a Chargers fan, but since they weren't playing, I went with the next best thing.

But I'm not really wanting to talk about the game. I want to share something that really is on my heart, and was since yesterday.

The commercials.

It used to be that I watched the Super Bowl only for the commercials. And over the years there have been some good ones. My favorite last year was the office workers having a huge battle with the barbarians. That one was great. This year there was one I really enjoyed. The Mean Joe Green redo with Palamalu. That was good. Funny thing was, we were at a party with some young 20-somethings, who had no idea why we were laughing. Man, that made me feel old.

But like in years past, there is of course the objectional commercial or two. And yesterday was no exception. Oh how I wish I had a set of penalty flags, I would have thrown my own yellow flag more than once, and not just during the game.

Go-Daddy. Yes the website domain thing. Go-Daddy. The main sponsor of the Dannica Patrick race car. Yes that Dannica Patrick. The one who at one time said she wanted to be known for her race car driving, and wouldn't use her femininity to get ahead. Well that same Dannica was in a commercial yesterday that should have been on late night TV if anything.

I'm sorry, I'm as male as the next guy, but there is really no reason to put her naked in the shower with another woman. No reason at all. Except to say that every advertiser out there along with the NFL, must think that every man living and breathing, watching the Super Bowl, is going to enjoy that emensely. Unless of course they are gay. I don't know, maybe not every advertiser, maybe that is too broad a statement. But many. How's that?

Look, I'm not gay. I'm not effeminate in any way. I've been married over 13 years to the same wonderful woman. Just to give you insight, in case you don't know me, to my orientation. I am a guy.

Let me say that again. I AM A GUY!

One more time. I AM A GUY!

And I was greatly offended at that Go-Daddy commercial as well as the Courtroom commercial from them. Both commercials did two things very effciently. No make that three things.

First, they objectified women to the point of making them simply about sex, boobs, and other body parts designed only to satisfy men.

Second, the stereotyped men to the point of saying if you are a man, then you must want to see two women naked in the shower, or see another women flash her breasts to another, and if you don't like it, there must be something wrong with you.

Lastly, pissed me off enough to write this blog and send a copy of it to Go-Daddy.

What will it accomplish? I don't know. But it does me precious little good to be angry and show no effort to voice that anger.

Now for those of you who were, shall we say, enticed by either of those commercials, I'm saddened. Saddened, because typically those that read here, are those that Walk with God. And while I'm no expert, I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't want to go online and look for the unrated finish to those commercials.

I don't mean to shame anyone who enjoyed it, but rather to open eyes to the subtlety of the enemy. The Devil is no fool. He knows God designed man to be attracted to woman, and he will use that to his advantage, and your destruction.

Trust me I know.

Father,
I pray right now that you would remove those images, thoughts and rememberances of the above mentioned commercials from my mind. Purify my thoughts and heart. Let me be free from the power of the enemy over my desires. Lord replace those things with pure thoughts. Thoughts of you Lord. Fill my mind with the beauty of your entire creation. Lord and give me a healthy respect for your daughters. Lord cleanse me from every ill thought, every fantasy that may have been sparked by those things. And Father, let me walk as Jesus would walk. Keep my eyes on You Lord.

In Jesus' name
AMEN

If you read that and prayed it as your own, and want to talk about what that means. You can let me know you'd like to and I'll get in touch via email.

Strength and Honor.

Freedom?

2009-01-05T11:27:00.001-08:00

I have, for some time now, been walking with God in Freedom.

Freedom from the long arm of the church, so to speak. The self-policed version of sin-management, dictated by the aforementioned church. Not to name any church names, because I'm sure I would miss yours. :)

But at anyrate, I communicate much over the years in an internet forum that promotes greatly, this freedom. And for the most part, the guys there walk in freedom well. For the most part. Often there are times, when a Freedom newbie shows up, still "tainted" by the effects of the church, and is "educated" as to his lack of understanding of Freedom. Well intentioned? I'm sure. Well received? I don't know.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Asking God how to describe this. About a week ago, we were watching the movie Wild Hogs. If you haven't seen it, its a tale about 4 middle aged guys going on a motorcycle road trip cross country. Its a great film. Anyway, in the movie, the antogonist is played by Ray Liotta. His character, Jack, is the leader of a real biker gang, the Del Fuego's. At one point in the film, he's calling out the four heros of the story (played by Tim Allen, John Travolta, William H. Macy and Martin Lawrence) as posers trying to experience the freedom that he and his biker buddies have. He tells them basically, get on your bikes and go home, you can't handle this freedom! And so without spoiling the movie for those who haven't seen it, they leave.

Later on in the film the four "posers" stand up to the 50 hard core bikers. When all hope looks lost, in walks Damian Blade, played by none other than Peter Fonda. He's the founder of the Del Fuego's. Jack says hello, and proceeds to tell him these four "posers" burnt their bar down. Damian looks at him in all his coolness and says, four guys stand off against 50 bikers....and THEY'RE the posers?

I love that! The group that thought that they had all the answers. All the Freedom. Thought they had everything all figured out, basically called out as posers. Wow.

So that made me wonder which one am I????

Which one are you????

I just want to be real. I want to walk in all the freedom God has given me.

Galatians 5:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Have a great day!

Does what we do, make us who we are?

2008-06-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have this good buddy named Dave, who recently send me a notice to the effect of, "Hey bud, you need to update your blog. We need some of your wisdom." Or something like that.

And well, yeah, I agree, the world needs more of my wisdom. I have no idea how I typed that out, but I did.

Anyway, here is a thought that has been rolling around in this here brain of mine.

Does what we do make us who we are?

I've had that thought bouncing around in my head for a while now. Maybe a better way to put it is, 'Do my actions, skills, gifts, abilities, habits, or sins define me?'

Yes, I think I like that question a little better.

I'll start with a story. For several years, I worked witha guy who was very involved in a church that was a mile wide and an inch deep. he would always steer lunch table conversations to a "churchy" slant. Always. He would find ways to interject a few points. And it was always the same three points.

I don't smoke, that's one of the things that makes me a Christian.
I don't drink, that's one of the things that makes me a Christian.
I don't cuss, that's one of the things that makes me a Christian.

Then he would put those thoughts on new, young Christian brothers and sisters at work, and that would leave them so confused.

Then there is the other end of the spectrum that would take way too many liberties with the "Do all you do to the glory of God" thought line. And take that to mean, it's ok to smoke weed, shoot heroin, cheat on their spouse, or have premarital sex with multiple partners. Or any combination of a zillion other way out things.

So I bring us back to the question:

Do my actions, skills, gifts, abilities, habits or sins define me?

Well, do they? Does riding a motorcycle make you a biker? Does writing this blog make me a writer? Does getting fired from a job make you a loser? Does going to church make you a son or daughter of God?

What does God say?

Ephesians 1:7 (New International Version)

7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.

In Him. I like that. In HIM. Not in ME. Positive or negative. Not in ME!

It's really a question of Identity. Who am I really? It takes saying to yourself, 'I'm tired of what people tell me I am' and then replacing it with, 'what does God say about me?'

That will give you the answer of what defines you.

Hey Batter, Batter! Swing Batter!

2007-09-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

Ok. So it's been a while since I've been here. I could show you my calendar, you would see I've been and am going to be busy. Why? It's Winter baseball season here in Ramona.

My youngest son, Garret, has never done a team sport before. He's been in Tang Soo Do for a year and a half, but no team sports. He wanted to play baseball. Winter season is a little shorter and a little more laid back than the regular season, so we figured, 'Go for it.' My older son, Ethan, wanted to play too. So we signed them both up. More on Ethan in a minute.

Right now, it's about G. His first game was this past Sunday. Garret is a lefty, so when he was up to bat we got a couple of great pictures of him. Very cool. He went 1 for 3 with a 2 RBI double. His team won 7-0. Not a bad first game. He got to play Right Field, Left Field, and a little 3rd Base. He thinks he wants to try catcher. Whatever position he ends up at, I'm so proud of him.

Take a look at his pictures.

Now on to Ethan. Ethan has played baseball before, sort of. He played about 3 years ago on a not so well coached team. T-ball with a coach that wanted to coach kids that already knew how to play. Not so much with Ethan. But he got to play some. Well its been a few years and he was ready to play again. So we signed up the boys.

For his age group, the league didn't have enough boys sign up to make up a good division. So they held another sign up day. The results. Too many kids now and not enough coaches. So I was asked to Manage Ethans team. I said yes. When I told him, you should have seen his eyes light up.

I told him like this. 'Ethan I've got good news and bad news about baseball. The bad news. The league called and they've got too many kids and not enough coaches. So your team didn't have a coach. The good news. It does now!(as I pointed at myself with both thumbs)' Oh man, you would have thought the kid won the lottery or something. He gave me the biggest hug. I was 10 feet tall!

So we had a "bye" game for the first week, and our first game will be next Sunday. I'll take some pictures, and keep you posted.

"Play Ball!"

Set Free

2007-07-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

Ok. This is short but it has a point. Last Friday our band did the worship service for Set Free Escondido. The band has been doing it for a while with just Franny and Christy in an acoustic set. This was the first time I joined them. And I was so moved by one part of the service. After worship they took a few minutes to honor those that had been clean for certain time frames. Thirty days, six months, one year, and 17 years. They gave them a little plastic token that said 30 days or whatever. And the look of accomplishment as they were honored, not so much for what they did but what God did in them. Wow. It was amazing. I was moved almost to tears. It was cool. Really cool.

Glamdring

2007-07-05T10:20:00.001-07:00

It's been 5 months since the most awesome birthday of mine on record. This birthday was significant for me because it was the first time I was able to celebrate with joy in my heart. Birthday's for me, usually involve a certain amount of pain. Not the pain associated with getting older, but the pain associated with my existence. But this year it was different. My life has taken a turn for the better this year. God is amazing. The things He has done in my life in the past 10 or 11 months still just blow me away. A good friend gave me a copy of some "I am" statements from the Bible. (If you want them, let me know. It's good stuff) And after reading them and asking God to show me that they were true about me, my whole outlook on things changed.

Now, flash forward (or backward, depending on how you look at things) to January of 2007. I had the occasion to spend Jan 2nd all alone with my God in the mountains. Just me and my Father. And I went there that day with one purpose really. To get answers to two questions.

1. Do I have what it takes?
2. What do you think of me God?

Before I tell you where those two questions went, let me say, that if you have never had a chance to do this, MAKE IT HAPPEN. You will not regret it. I would spend a day like this again in a heart beat.

Ok. So in answer to my first question, God most definitely told me that I do have what it takes. I have what it takes to be the man that He's called me to be, the husband I'm supposed to be, the father I'm supposed to be, the Warrior I'm supposed to be. Little did I know at the time, but I would be tested greatly in some of those areas in the days and months to come. But it helped knowing that I had what it takes to make it.

Now for the second question. What do you think of me God? Most of the answers to that question are extremely private between me and my Father. But what I can share is this. God said that He loves me. And that He was proud of me. And he called me by my new name. He called me Gandalf. (Those not familiar with that name, it is the name of one of the characters in the Lord of the Rings books.) I laughed at first when He said that to me. I was like, 'Yeah right. More like Pippen or Merry. Anything but Gandalf.' You see Gandalf is a wizard who leads the Fellowship of the Ring on their quest. He seems to have all the answers, he knows everything. He gains everyones trust. He is loved by everyone who knows him. He bravely leads the Fellowship into battle. And then there's me. Sure, I would like to have all those things said about me. But I didn't want to think that that was me. I mean Gandalf was wise and all, but he had a staff not a sword. At least the Hobbits had little bitty swords. And then there was Aragorn. Now he had a sword. Yes God, maybe you meant Aragorn. Thats it. Yes Aragorn, you must have been confused on your characters Lord.

Now I don't want to assume that anyone else in the world has ever questioned God, so I will now fill you in on how it went from there. Father was like, 'Oh yes. Of course. Me who knows everything was mis-taken. So sorry GANDALF. Yes Gandalf is my name for you. You will see in time. Trust me.' Have you ever been in that place where the God of the universe asks you to trust Him? Well what are you going to do? Hint: TRUST HIM.

Ok. So I leave from my time in the mountains happy, and confused at the same time. I was almost embarassed to share my new name with my wife, because I halfway expected this roaring laughter followed by, 'Yeah right! Gandalf's horse maybe. Hahahaha.' Or something like that. But when I shared with her, the words from her were like honey. 'Oh yeah. I can totally see that. You are so much like him.'

Now I'm just wierded out. My wife and God conspiring together! But I said ok God. I'm trusting you. So I go to work the next day and do a little search online for all things Lord of the Rings. And would you believe, Gandalf had a sword! It's name was Glamdring. It was an Elvin sword, with history. I couldn't believe it. I sent a copy of the web page to my wife saying 'Look! Gandalf has a sword!' And that was pretty much it.

Jump to my birthday. My wife Franny, our friend Christy, and our boys had a little party for me complete with a viewing of The Return of the King, and cake and all that jazz. There were decorations and stuff and a happy birthday banner with two pictures of Gandalf. My wife and Christy were sad though, because the gift that they bought me didn't get delivered on time. I told them it was no big deal.

Well the next day they came home from work with my present. It was a box about four feet long, a foot across and about 4 inches thick. Inside that box was Glamdring. It was mine. Given to me by those who love me. I've never been more speachless in my life.

It hangs on the wall beside my bed. It is mine. I am Gandalf. God said so.

Since that time, many things have happened that have confirmed that God was right with my name. (duh) God knew what I was made of, and that I had what it would take for each one of those situations.

But for now..........

"Fly Shadowfax, show us the meaning of haste!"