Here we go!

Something I've been toying with for a while, (and by toying what I'm trying not to say is running from God) is putting on paper, or in this case flash drive, the thoughts that God has placed on my heart regarding parenting.

Now before you say it, I'll beat you to it. What do I know about parenting? Well, considering I've fathered two boys, and 'parented' well over 100, I've discovered that I "know" a little. Not a lot. But the things that I know, I know only because God has revealed them to me. What did I know about parenting before my boys were born? Despite the underlying knowledge of every teenager that they know everything, I really knew nothing. There was no manual! There was no Wiki-parent! I had nothing! Nothing but God. And that, by any stretch is way more than enough.

So some of my knowledge comes from first hand experience with my boys. Other pieces come from the 'parenting' of countless teens through over 15 years of youth ministry. And still other pieces come from my Jerry Springer like family members and their 'How Not To Parent' examples. And yet some come from very good friends and their real life moments of parenting genius or lack thereof.

What I'd like to offer you is this. An opportunity to sit back and read some tales of parenting triumphs and tragedies, masterpieces and mishaps, and epic advances and epic failures. Not to read it with the thought of 'This book has all the answers to all my parenting issues!' But to read it with the thought of, 'Hey, real people have raised real kids, and they turned out ok, for the most part! Maybe I can do this too!'

So, this journey begins with the title, and a short thought. I could have titled this:

• Parenting Today's Teen: Lessons To Learn From
• I've Done a Great Job of Raising my Kids, and Now You Can Too!
• Ten Tips to Raising Spiritually Mature Teens: A Guide to Successful Parenting.

But that would be too 'normal', no what God has placed on my heart is to title it this:

Has A Llama Sucked Your Toes,
and Other Things You Never Thought You'd Have to Talk to Your Teen About.

This title came out of a talk we had with our oldest son about a year ago (he gave me permission to share) about a really rough spot he was in. We had realized that Satan was having a field day with him, his heart, his worth, his very existence, and we knew that we had to press all the way in on this one, or it was not going to go away or get better. So we stayed up very late hashing things out. Asking question after question, trying to get to the root of the problem. Nothing seemed to be working. But still we trudged on. Finally after what seemed like hours of getting nowhere, my wife felt the Lord leading her to ask the question 'Has a llama sucked your toes?' in the most serious manner she could muster. That was the pivotal moment in that battle for our boys heart and life. The freedom that came out of that entire transaction was huge. That is the reason for the title, and maybe also it might carry with it a little of the freedom of God to be just a little bit non traditional in our parenting techniques.

Now for the thought.

Too many times, we as parents want to be "cool" to our kids. We want to be their friends. We try hard to make them happy. (I said 'we') When those things don't 'work' we feel like we've failed. I would offer you this, nowhere in scripture did God ever call, commission, or anoint you to be cool to your kids or to be their friend. He did however in both Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6 charge us with the responsibility to make Him known to them and to raise them in His ways.

I would challenge you with this:

Can you take a step back and look at your relationship with your kids, and ask yourself, 'do I try harder to be a friend or a parent according to Gods standard?'

I'm in no way casting blame, guilt, or shame on any of us. My goodness, I've found myself way too many times to count, falling into the friend category, but God, in His infinite grace and mercy gently brings me back.

That is my prayer for you, that God would direct your parenting the same way He is directing mine. After all, He is the ultimate parent!